Sep 27, 2012

Recientemente he tenido mucha musa variada...
Ahora mismo estoy como que... escribiendo un libro sobre mí & acabo de terminar un capítulo del libro...
Se trata de Racismo... estuve todo el fin de semana pensando en eso, y pues vacié todo lo que pude.

Vamos a ver que pasa con eso...
So...
Como yo tengo Allodoxafobia, no puedo salir del coraje interno que siento por alguien...
Y decidi que es mejor convertir ese sentimiento en escritura, porque e de la única forma que me sentiré mejor...

Esa persona es ignorante e insegura, es una DEF-CON Cockblocker level: Sin-Cuenta.
Es Egocentrista & le gusta tirarle a todo el mundo.
Habla 'pestes' de los demás, para sentirse mejor...
No ve sus propios defectos, sus intereses van por encima de cualquier cosa y es una de las personas más desconsideradas que conozco.


2 Poems.

I felt like writing two poems, one in english, one in spanish...
Actually I'm  on an excellent creative streak these days... so, enjoy! :)

YOU
 



In a bucket of goo,
I start anew with a gum in my shoe.
After the review, I renew my virtue,
Represented in a see-through tattoo on my tutu….
Who knew I would have to redo the canoe in desperate need of a corkscrew,
But in between the break-through when I unscrew,
This preview of the statue turns into a horseshoe.
Why do I have this new desire to rescue the taboo created by a guru from Peru?
This is the part where I start feeling blue because you withdrew your taste from the menu.




De la Soledad al Boxeo: Momento.



Sábado solitario en el barrio estudiantil…
Nadie para ver, ningún lado para ir,
Ningún plan ni mensaje para recibir,
Camino hacia la costumbre.
Poco tiempo en una, más tiempo en la otra…
Termino en una situación nueva,
Sin explicar como comencé a estarlo.
Una melena larga se dispone a conversar, sonreír, estar… volar.
En las mismas, después de la religión, música, herejía y opiniones variadas o entretenidas,
Dos perros, un bebé, un maestro endeudado por la vida, todavía tiene el espíritu nómada y amable…
Secretos que se ven pero se desconocen, observaciones que se recolectan porque no se reconocen…
Nadie sabe qué hacer en una nube sin destinación hacia una realidad alterna…
Solo nos quedó el momento… esos 90 segundos de sincronización, de esperanza, de la libertad humana…
Solo en esas ideas, la violencia puede desaparecer,
Envolverse en un rollo de aluminio, junto a un gran estornudo hacia el espacio infinito…
Donde lo malo pueda ser sustituido por pasión y a la vez, haber aportado a expresar este escrito.



Sep 16, 2012

Jumping the Broom?

So, last night I was bored, watching this movie called "Jumping the Broom" and decided to write while I watched it...
I was thinking of summarizing the movie in a spoiler type of way...
(If you haven't seen the movie then, I recommend you don't read this, unless you wanted to of course.)
And... here's what came from it.

(I haven't edited it yet.)



“Jumping the Broom”…from my perspective.
So… This beautiful young adult is a bit promiscuous and tends to have a habit of sleeping with her dates and regretting it in the morning. She starts praying and asks for a sign pointing directly to the love of her life, because she was not going to have sex until she found that guy in the world… (That seems a bit extreme and controlling…) Anyways, she hits the love of her life with her car and they do that 2 minute eye stare (where I’m guessing it was the moment they started believing in love at first sight…)
So after dating for 5 (and I quote) “5 Incredible Months” after going to an opera, she starts talking about moving to China because of a job promotion and he realizes that it’s the right moment to propose marriage because supposedly he wants to go with her as a team –slash- supportive husband. (Even though he has a huge position in Goldman-Sachs which, actually would make sense because he has a good job so he can afford all of it, and Asia has GS branches… ok, I’m going back to the story.) Anyways, he puts a lot of mystery and seriousness into the beginning of the wedding proposal that to her (well, there was a tone…)it sounded like he was breaking up with her because he didn’t seem like he wanted to go to China (Why so much drama in 5 months?). After this, She gets sad and starts walking slowly until stopping in front of (very convenient) a guy singing a love song while playing the piano… and a few violinists playing next to him… So the boyfriend walks up to her, gives her a rose, and continues giving her the proposal (now that I think of it, it was a really long proposal!!) and after another paragraph, hey become engaged.
So, the wedding weekend comes and you have your rich vs. middle class African-American families in the United States… (Yeah, I forgot to mention, this is a movie that has African-American actors doing a stereotype, cultural, educational, historical and comedic twist where racism exists in the same race due to different values, places or simply where you were raised, even though you’re the same skin color.)
The Girl’s family is the rich one, and the Guy’s family is the one in Middle Class…So you have the girl’s mother running around, planning, freaking out and answering stereotypical race questions from (the only one in the movie and wedding) the white wedding planner. The bride is freaking out, and in another city, the groom’s mother is getting pissed because the bride keeps giving her instructions in text messages and she is on anger management and constantly flipping out. (By the way, I’ve always liked wedding movies, I don’t know why.) The
groom’s family has to take a ferry and she brings her best-friend, the carefree, tall, happy, braided love machine… her flirty younger brother, and her green eyed, clueless nephew.
A lot of non-important, things, details and random stuff that would’ve been repeated and that’s why I’m not going to explain that part…
So the groom is mommy dependent, and the bride besides being spoiled, is not her mother’s biological daughter… Her mother is the sexy, looking young, kind of milfy, carefree, adventurous favorite aunt, younger daughter of who she always believed was her real mother. This secret is revealed by the  groom’s mother who is an angry child and wanted to ruin everything until she came to her senses in some way…(I don’t blame her for everything, because it was her own son who was neglecting and lying to her about the bride cancelling all opportunities to meet each other.
So while that drama is happening, you have the maid of honor ignoring every guy except the sexy, exotic, and aphrodisiac, experimenting new things kind of chef (where she doesn’t know if she should throw away her ‘perfect guy list’ and give this guy she’s clearly highly attracted to, a chance.) Then you have the groom’s mother’s best friend being hit on by the groom’s youngest college cousins in his bridal party… (He is hot.)And she clearly doesn’t want to go to jail, but he keeps trying anyway (Perseverance.).
You also have the bride’s father coming home with his secretary who acts like his mistress because he doesn’t want his wife to know that because of bad investments, they lost all their money.
You also have the groom, and everybody else wondering why he still haven’t had sex… because of the God promise that the bride made at the beginning of the movie…
So, the truth is out, the bride runs, the groom goes crazy, the mothers in law break down, and the bride comes back, ready to get married. (The bride is very pretty as well.) They get married, everyone gets happy, the chef stays with the maid of honor and the college boy gets to kiss the tall best friend and get her email. And they jumped the broom.
(I forgot to explain why it’s called Jumping the Broom… sorry, (laughing))
The movie is called that way because, according to history, when black people where slaves and weren’t allowed to marry, they would secretly do it anyway… they would do the ceremony and jump a broom to formalize the union, and it stayed in Black wedding traditions throughout the years. So in this movie, the groom’s mother, who was middle class, wanted the couple to jump the same broom from her wedding and the other mother opposed because her family, even though they’re black, claim that they weren’t slaves, (that in fact “they owned slaves”) and therefore, they didn’t need to jump the broom or follow any tradition.


Sep 6, 2012

El Velorio & Yo.

So............
Fuí al funeral de un tío mío (hermano de mi abuelo paterno).
Lo asesinaron a batazos & le pusieron una media en la boca... y dejaron el bate allí.

La cosa es que realmente allá en ese pueblo hace una calor de madre.
No quería ir porque sabía que me iba a encontrar presionada a participar de todas las actividades fúnebres & a saludar a mi familia, en especial a mis tías (que por cierto TODAS se parecen) más de quinientas veces cada día. Además, toda la ropa que me llevé era tapada & negra.
No se de dónde eres TÚ pero si vives en Puerto Rico, SABES que en estos días, vuelvo y repito, hace muchísimo calor como para estar en ropa negra, completamente tapada.. tu sabes, por cuestiones de respeto...etcétera.
Llegamos al velorio, a saludar a medio mundo... y yo, que no entraba a una funeraria hacen años, estaba evitando llegar a la caja a ver a mi tío y mucho menos escuchar a la viuda que se encontraba gritando su amor & devoción por el muerto. Me puse a pensar, antes de llegar, que la palabra muerte significa algo totalmente negativo, triste o melancólico para la gente... Cuando alguien se muere, la mayoría de la gente piensa o se concentra (de lo que he escuchado) es que 'esa persona' ya no va a estar en este mundo mortal con todas las personas que lo odiaban, querían, necesitaban, buscaban, usaban...etc.
Me senté en una esquina de la funeraria a comerme una sopa con tó que estaba delicioso y a observar a mi alrededor. Para empezar, todo el ambiente era estaba completamente lleno de gente (mi tío era bien conocido & tenía mucha familia) y aún más lleno de negatividad extrema. La funeraria me hacía sentir pesada e incómoda, como si la persona que lo asesinó estuviera por ahí entre la muchedumbre...
Se veían grupitos de ancianos 'cuchicheando' sobre sus teorías del asesinato, señoras diciendo que alomejor fue un jóven adolescente que escuchaba reggaeton, los familiares que habían llegado a la isla hacen par de horas y aunque sorprendidos ante la muerte, se veían felices de reunirse con sus familiares o hablar sobre la actualización de sus vidas. En otra esquina se encontraba la madre del difunto al lado de un plasma que tenía en repetición un DVD de un slideshow que hicieron del muerto... mirándolo con pena, en silencio, sin expresión... ya que estoy describiendo el ambiente, déjame decirte que la funeraria esa era pa' gente con dinero. Queda al principio del pueblo, o sea, no puedes pasar sin verla... y afuera de la funeraria tienen un plasma o 'sign' digital que dice el nombre de la funeraria & el nombre de quien murió BIEN GRANDE. No es como mi pueblo natal que tienes que frenar o pararte alfrente de la puerta principal de la funeraria para averiguar quien murió... SE VEÍA BIEEEEEEN GRANDE el nombre de mi tío. y todos allí estaban tan bien vestidos que tuve que ir en mis plataformas más grandes.
Me dí cuenta también que soy la ÚNICA negra en mi familia paterna. LA ÚNICA. (creo que en ese pueblo hay 1 negro de cada 30 personas..) Mi madre también es morena pero mi padre & el resto de la familia son 'jinchos' así que te podrás imaginar la sorpresa de cuando me vieron & las cosas que me decían ( ya que no visitaba hace tiempo, y la familia completa tampoco se reunía hace tiempo).

-"¿TU eres hija de tal, sobrina del muerto, nieta de TAL??! WOW."
-"Creo que NUNCA he visto a una trigueña bonita..."
-"¡Madre de tal, dañaste la raza! (risas)."
-"Tu eres la nieta mayor?"
-"Es obvio que te pareces más a tu mai'... "
entre otros comentarios que expresaban la sorpresa de que una negra podría ser de ésta familia en donde al parecer, todos los hombres se casaron con mujeres de tez clara, y todas las mujeres se casaron con hombres de tez clara y todos los hijos, nietos y sobrinos (hasta mi hermana) salieron de tez blanca menos yo.
No entiendo cual es la sorpresa cada vez que voy a visitar.


Será continuado..........

Aug 10, 2012

so... I've been thinking...

I guess you could say, I got my mojo optimism creative self back.
How? Go figure.
and, i think, well.. i KNOW i want to write a book.
I usually write everyday (it's a beautiful habit) so why not, have all my thoughts together inside a book I can keep ( just in case my computer decides to die... )
But, a book about what? Hmph. I have no idea... I will know when I know..
abstract. ranting about life. absurd and insipid stories.. (that aren't very inspid because they obviously come from my mind/imagination/etc.) but anyways, you get it, right?????? 

Aug 1, 2012

i just finished re-reading all the 2012 posts on this blog and I just realized....
I have been like TOO NEGATIVE and WHINY this year. wow.
(pointing out the obvious.)
ok, bye. 

Random Rant Read?

so, yeah.
i'm not posting this post from a previous document i wrote earlier, where I usually brainstorm and say: "Hey, this is a very good post, I'm gonna put it on Blogger.. blah blah blah" ..
I like automatism.
Soooo... I'm writing what's currently on my mind.
If YOU aren't in the mood to read random rants.. then you should stop reading NOW.
(hey, that gave me an idea for a blog term.. nevermind.)

Still reading? Cool! *wink*
so yeah, as I was saying... I feel like fully & automatically expressing myself today about everything, about anything!

I have ALOT of things on my mind; unresolved issues I can't deal with at the moment, mixed emotions of stress, love and libido...
Thinking WHY poor people have fewer options and are then judged by their actions...
HELLO?! Because when you're broke, jobless, in debt.. etc. you usually have a harder time getting your life back together, reorganizing, paying, smiling...
I mean, I sometimes think that the "Rich" create stuff for the "Poor" to use, and create this false hope/idea of success...
example: KARAOKE was made for poor people... (Over here in PR it's an official hobby, yup, and people sing the night away with the secret dream of becoming stars, of being discovered... and 49343 beers later, they just have clapping -local -beer buying -complimenting- microphone joining -dreamy fans). It's sad, so sad.

I have tons of skills, knowledge, charisma... and I'm poor and jobless.
It's not because I haven't looked for one ('cause I have)
but it's because society wants the poor to fail! LOL

So, yeah. If YOU need a petsitter, babysitter, spanish-english translator, asl online teacher, baby sign language teacher or essay, fiction/non fiction story writer, Write! :D

May 18, 2012


Ya no se puede salir con chamaquitos kako-surfer.
Ya no se puede con tanta tolerancia a cosas intolerantes.

Apr 23, 2012

Blah, Blah, Negative Energy.

I've just realized it...
Since my birthday, i've been just full of absolute negative energy!!!
i feel like not dealing or talking to anyone, and it really messes with my head.... it's like the negative energy that has mysteriously risen, is causing me to mind-fck myself! (fsjdfohwnfufhjs0resw?!! )
I don't know why, or what's bothering me, but i have a big ball of black and gray to give to the world and this is NOT healthy at all... i'm just feeling grumpy and blaming and whining.... (like, right now for instance) i lack motivation and money and it messes with my mojo as well... lol.
I know people say it's normal to feel like this sometimes, blah, blah, etc. but i don't want to feel this way... i'm an eternal optimist, an extremely happy go-lucky wearing bright colors and smiling 90% of the time....
I declare that i WILL terminate these negative feelings by the end of this week.

Anyways, you guys have a good productive week and remember to SMILE! 
(yeah, of course we're gonna smile after you just spread negative-ness with what we've just read...) LOOL.
I'm sorry, i just needed to get it out of my chest because my Twitter followers don't care at all, and my Facebook friends will just comment incessantly about my positive personality and will think i'm acting suicidal... (ahh,, the dramatic puertorricans taking everything to extremes....)

Apr 19, 2012

Not having internet access SUCKS. 
Not having sufficient money for personal expenses SUCKS.
but soon i will be fixing that... and will be writing more. Let's hope for the best!

So....  I recently had a BIRTHDAY! yay! yay! Go me! Go me! and this is the first lesson i've learned so far:

Not being a priority of someone you really like/liked just because your poor-ness broke-ness no-money having, makes you "unaccessible and hard to spend time with".... SUCKS.
since when? when did the stupid laws of flirting dating & spending time with a potential lay-date become so OVERRATED? i mean, c'mon... us poor people want some lovin' too! :D 
I'm seriously considering going full-on hippie mode where i eat what i plant, move into a treehouse and dance in the rain.... If YOU are also a low middle class hopeless romantic yourself and suffer from having to meet up to the expectations of people who cannot simply appreciate a humble simple relationship not based in money or cars, look for someone who DOES accept you for who you are! Look for someone who WANTS to be with you, who WANTS to spend time with you. yeahh.

Apr 6, 2012

"Semana Santa" / Spring Break

Yeeah baby... It's that week of the year!
Today is already Friday of that specific week... :'(  *starts to cry..
Why?! Why week?! Why did you end so fast?!!! notfairatall.
Anyways, still, it has been good...
I've gone to the beach 3 times, so far... Got a suntan #yeahhhboii, mingled & flirted of course, meditated on life-love and other crap, practiced some sign language, fell in love with Stumbleupon (it is soooo useful, if you don't know about it, today is your lucky day! Google it! ) annnd i renewed my love vows with the ocean... It was SOOOO ROMANTIC (WAVES, BIKINIS, GOOD MUSIC, THE SUN, THE MOON AND ME)
so yeah, and i slept ALOT, got my "beauty sleep, i'm feeling refreshed.. :D
So... Things i was thinking about these days were:
-people who can easily move their way in & out of friendzones... What's up with that? You're probably like, whatdoumean?? Well, i mean, when for example, you are attracted to someone who knows you're attracted to them, and maybe has confessed they are attracted to you as well.. so then, you guys kinda become friends because this person doesn't-hasn't-won't make a move...and what they do is, they put themselves in the friendzone... :O whaaaat? Yup. Then, they decide to flirt and see if they can get somethin' somethin' on random moments... Because instead of hitting on you, they act like they're only interested in a pg-13 friendship, when secretly, it's all part of their 'master plan to have v.i.p. access in and out of the friendzone of comfort they wisely created themselves! #Omgshockerr :O (*scary creepy music playing)
Has this happened to you??? Watch out people! Mind Fckers, Mind Fckers everywhere! Lol.
-another thing, so yeah, the people who get out of a monogamous relationship and decide they want to be poligamous & carefree sexually active fun all day kind of people, so they start flirting with everyone they know to see who's up for it... Then, one person grants this access for random guilt-free adventure.. until, Mr. or Mrs. Poligamy hey let's have fun, tells you that they met a serious monogamous adoring person who wants to get to know them better, so they start living a double life with the crazy sex kinkiness during the night and having quality time with the sharing means caring person during the day.... Hmph. #talkabouthavingyourcakeandeatingittoowhilesleepinginthebedyoujustmade.. wait, whaat?! Lol. Yeah..  i like making up stories... But it happens...
People, you just gotta know when to stop the games, learn how to play them, master a how-to book of Mind Fcking for Dummies, be honest, ask for honesty, smile and get your groove on! We on vacation baby! Omg, i sound so informal, hahahah, i sound like i'm writing this while i watch a marathon of a combination between all of Tyler Perry & Martin Lawrence movies, Undercover Brother, some Dave Chappelle & Death at a Funeral... Well, Sweet Dreams! ;*